Article published in Personal Success Magazine, June 2008
“You Can Dance: Coaching a Youth Project”
Adrian Smart, a professional Life Coach and volunteer Life Coach on the Leaps and Bounds musical youth project, explains that you succeed by just changing your conversation
“I won’t dance. Don’t ask me.
I won’t dance. Don’t ask me.
I won’t dance, Madame, with you.
My heart won’t let my feet do things they should do.”
So what was the ‘conversation’ that Fred Astaire was having with himself faced by the alluring Ginger Rogers in the 1935 film ‘Roberta’, when he pronounced that ‘I won’t dance’? No doubt Huck Haines, the character he was playing, was wrestling with the self doubt that many of us have when faced with something that challenges us. A ‘conversation’ that has a greater impact when it is one that we have had time and time before. But Huck overcame his fear of what might happen to him on the dance floor, to win the heart of Lizzie Gatz (Ginger), in one of Astaire’s greatest tap solos of his career.
You soon become aware of the ‘conversations’ that we have with ourselves when you are on the ‘Leaps and Bounds’ project. Even to the extent that you almost cringe at the word. But it is important to be aware of such conversations and to understand the impact upon us of our ‘self-talk’. By making a conscious decision to change the dialogue that we have, we can achieve success in ways we never thought possible.
I first heard about Leaps and Bounds during the summer of 2007 when a cursory visit to www.do-it.org revealed details of this exciting project, and their call for volunteer Life Coaches. The opportunity to be involved in a youth project that would lead to the production of a brand new musical by a top West End Musical Director, performed at one of the
Like all the other volunteer Life Coaches, I was asked to attend a two-day workshop, called an Intensive. This provided an introduction to the coaching methodology of Youth at Risk, the organisation appointed by Leaps and Bounds to deliver self-development training. This training is for the 100 or so young people from the five local authorities in the Black Country and
Armed with an understanding that ‘a chair isn’t a chair’ and that ‘everything exists within a conversation’ I joined the first of a number of four-day Intensives for the course participants. One of the ways in which Leaps and Bounds stands out as a unique opportunity for these socially challenged young people is that it combines personal development training with a knowledge of the performing arts. Using the same basic training as given to the volunteers, but with possibly less attention paid and more fidgeting, the young people were coached into understanding how a chair could be a metaphor for their lives and that they aren’t failures just because that’s how they have been labelled by others.
In my work, I feel that it is always a privilege to be invited into the lives of my clients and to share time with them as they bring about self change. That sense of privilege was even more evident when watching the young people throughout their Intensive as they grew with confidence, learning about themselves and taking part in rehearsals for a performance from the hit show ‘Mamma Mia’ in front of a specially invited group of West End actors. Whilst the focus was never on the events that brought them to the Project, it was sometimes difficult for them to hold back on their need to tell their stories; stories which included abuse, rape, violence, addiction and crime. Knowing the kind of challenges that these 15 to 18 year olds had faced, made their performance even more inspiring and the applause even more justified.
At the end I was assigned the two young people for whom I would act as Life Coach. This one to one coaching is another way in which the Leaps and Bounds stands out. It provides each individual with support through the life of the project, enabling them to see the project through and achieve the life goals they set for themselves at the outset. In accordance with my obligation, I am in weekly contact with them, sometimes in person and sometimes over the phone. This will continue beyond the final performance, sustaining the relationship to help the transition into the next stage of their lives.
The commitment from the young people is huge, particularly for many who find attending school a challenge. They are required to attend one evening and one full day session each month, with the number of rehearsal dates increasing in preparation for the Phase 1 performance at the end of March and the final performance in October 2008.
Each time I’m in contact with the young people I coach, or when I attend the regular sessions, the reasons why I feel the Project is so powerful are reinforced. These are:
Listening to be heard
The impact of being heard can be profound. For the young people, their experience is more likely to be one of being talked at rather than being listened to. As a Life Coach my role is to actively listen; to engage verbally with the young people in order that they can create a new ‘conversation’. One that serves to help them to move forward to achieve their goals. My experience proves that by having someone truly listen they are able to develop more constructive relationships with others and themselves.
Experience the power of ‘belonging’
Leaps and Bounds have set out to create a ‘community’ that the participants can identify with and feel they belong to. Through the creation of that safe environment, they can explore the concepts of choice, possibility, responsibility and commitment. The lessons learnt can then be applied to other situations outside of the project.
Creating group action that leads to personal change
Change can often be a lonely pursuit, particularly when it is perceived to be so difficult. By working together in a group change can feel less intimidating and the results more rewarding. Not only do the young people support each other in learning new skills, but they are inspired by each others successes, driving them to achieve more. These group achievements can also be a catalyst to personal change.
Developing self belief
Through an understanding of the ‘conversations’ that they have with themselves and their impact, the young people are able to develop a new self belief. One that leads to the achievement of what they want from both the Project and their lives.
As the months go by, there is no doubt that the young people on the Project are changing. They show more confidence, and accept greater responsibility for their actions. They are taking the small steps that are necessary to achieve their own goals.
So there now remains the question whether like Fred Astaire the young people on Leaps and Bounds will change their ‘conversation‘ and find that they ‘can dance’, pulling off the performance of their life. I will certainly be one of the 2000 people in the audience on their opening night; applauding and taking pride in having helped them to achieve their potential.